things i am.....
1. opening day in coors field, clap clap clap clap clap clap tu-lo
2. a gallon of jim beam in my hand
3. to watch the nfl draft
4. playing my new game THE SHOW
5. watching the lakers win it all
NOT EXICED ABOUT
1. cankles turning 26?maybe its 24? he can't be younger than 23, really he is only 21, happy birthday peary
2. having to drink coors on opening day at coors field
3. the empty bottle of jim beam
4. missing the college world series for the second year in a row
5. my 1-8 start in my franchise
Things that i have recently found out i dont care about
2. Who the chiefs get as a head coach
3. The NHL all star game
4. Reading the informers blog, but i really am reading it
5. Finding a job
6. The New President
7. Gossip girl and friday night lights, only because there was a very bad episode which ruined the whole show
8. who mel kiper picks in the draft because he has no f ing idea
9. being aware of the time, its a pretty care free way to live
10. Cankles health
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
THE FIRST AND LAST
Now I want to take time to right about. clayton -“cankles”, “fat-ass”, ”tubby”, “Gomez” –goos. Cankles told me the other day to write on my blog. In fact his direct quote was “when are you ever going to write on your blog again”. So zesty simply replied with “I am having writers block, I have nothing to write about”. The cankly one replied with “well write about me”. Well cankles here is 5 minutes in the spotlight and me writing about anything interesting in your life enjoy it. This is what I have to say about the thankly one, get ready cause here it comes. The life and times of clayton Gomez summed up in at least a page, enjoy:
And that’s all folks, excuse me while I go fill up cankles mom’s water dish
Holla at your boy
The zest
Thursday, September 25, 2008
zesty has a very big problem
holla at ya boy
zesty
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The informer
Yeah whats goin on here.
Sick an tired of five-oh runnin up on the block here.
You know what Im sayin?
Yo snow, they came around here lookin for you the other day.
Word? word! bust it!
Chorus
Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down.
Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down.
Police them come an now they blow down me door,
One him come crawl through,
through my window,
So then they put me in the back the car at the station,
From that point on me reach my destination,
When the destination reached,
it was the east detention,
where themWhipped down me pants,
looked up me bottom, so
Chorus
Bigger they are they think they have more power,
Theyre on the phone me say that on (every) hour,
Me for want to use it once an now me call me lover,
Lover who Ill be callin is the one tammy,
An me love her in me heart down to my belly,
Yes me daddy me snow me I feel cool an deadly,
As the one mc shan an the one daddy snow,
Together we-a loveem as a tor-na-do.
Chorus
Listen for me, you better listen for me now.
Listen for me, you better listen for me now.
When me rockin the microphone me rock it steady,
Yes sir, daddy me snow me are the article done.
But in the in an the out of a dance them they say where you come from,
People them say you come from jamaica,
But me born an raised in the ghetto thats the one I want you to know,
Pure black people mon thats all I mon know.
Yeah me shoes are tear up an me toes used to show,
Where me born in on the one toronto, so
Chorus
Come with a nice young lady. intelligent,
Yes shes gentle an irie.Everywhere me go,
me never left her at all.Yes,
its daddy snow me are the roam dance mon.
Roam between a dancin in a in a nation-a.
You never know say daddy me snow me are the boom shakata.
Me never lay-a down flat in that one cardboard box.
Yes say me daddy me snow me Ill go reachin at the top,
so...ChorusWhy would he?
Me sittin round cool with my dibbie dibbie girl,
Police knock my door,Lick up my pal,
Rough me up an I cant do a thingPick up my line,
when my telephone ring.Take me to the station,
Black up my hands.Trail me down, cuz Im hangin with the snowman,
What Im gonna do,Im backed an Im trapped,
Slap me in the face an took all o my gap.
They have no clues an they wanna get warmer,
But shan wont turn informer!
Chorus
Salaami vs Gene
SALAAM
1. Salaam attended the LaJolla Country Day School, where he played 8-man football and ran for over 100 yards in every game except for one. He was held under 100 yards against Christian High School, in an 11 man game. His team still won the game 16-13, Reminding you that it was 8 on 11 match up.
2. As a junior, Salaam had one of the best individual seasons by a running back in College football history in 1994, rushing for a school-record 2,055 yards and 24 touchdowns
3. As a rookie, he rushed for over 1,000 yards a Chicago Bears rookie record. (Reminding you that Walter Payton played for the bears.)
4. He was a Unanimous all-American and became his school's first Heisman Trophy winner besting the runner-up by 842 points.
5. Salaam is the fourth major college football player to rush for over 2,000 yards in a season
Randall Gene Moss
7.He won the Fred Biletnikoff Award (the what?), and was a finalist for the Heisman Trophy (FINISHING FOURTH in the balloting, behind RYAN LEAF).
8. In 1997, Randy Moss was quoted, in a Sports Illustrated article as saying the 1970 Marshall plane crash "was a tragedy, but it really wasn't nothing big”. (good english gene)
9. Very recently Moss did not comply with an officer's order, and she was crushed by his vehicle and fell to the ground. Moss was arrested, and a search of his vehicle revealed a small amount of marijuana. Initially charged with felony suspicion of assault with a Deadly Weapon and a misdemeanor marijuana possession, Moss pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor traffic violation and was ordered to pay a $1,200 fine and perform 40 hours of community service.
10. In August 2005, during an interview with Bryant Gumbel, Moss admitted that he has smoked marijuana during his NFL career "every blue moon." (i believe that when my poo turns purple and smells like rainbow shurbert)
11. Number of super bowl victories – the same
12. Moss in T.O.’s shadow, Salaam in Walter Paytons
Ladies and Gents i just wanted to provide the facts to the world between these two people well i should say one human being and one negatron. As you can clearly see that randy moss should be elimanated from the negatron race since he is clearly trying to ruin the human race with his fourth place finishes and pot smoking driving that kills people. Oh and not even to mention how black his heart is for not even caring about a very historic fatal plane crash from his alma mata Salaam is just an innocent running back that graced people with his finese running skills and prolific running style and a personality that melts peoples heart.
The Zest has spoken
Monday, September 15, 2008
What the ?????
1. the fact that i dont know how to ever start a blog i go to the next best thing and that is just numbering my ideas. i figured out that after 16 years of education i would have some idea how to put my thoughts into well written out paragraphs with a transistion sentence to bring them together. well its either i did learn but the booze destroyed it. ......moving on
2. who the hell wants to watch the wisconsin fresno state game at 1:00am on a monday night? Not me. Is ESPN kidding me, you have to have something better to put on television. If you are going to play something from the past get a hold of the 2003 Treynor highlight film. (it has a pretty good ending i hear, back to the point) There is nothing better to watch that went on in the sports world. i know that this game was on when the played but nobody cares. I can only name one player from either team and i think he is the running back from wisconsin. i dont even think people from both of these schools could name people on the football team. anyway i didnt watch the game so i am probably going to watch it now, Go badgers.
3. Speaking of Fresno State what the hell is the huge V for on there helmets, Vandetta?
4. I am tired of seeing the informer on info commercials. The informer ya we know you can do 1,000 sit ups and push ups and chin ups and anything that ends in ups. we get it you are the spokesman for the iron gym. everybody that knows you knows that you got absolutely shredded in 4 weeks. So why dont you and chuck norris go get shredded on the island where the Lost people are. A B C ya
5. Dominoes has sandwhiches. For everybody that doesnt know one of my biggest pet peaves is when people go to a burger joint and order a chicken sandwhich, or a salad. how about when people go to a pizza place and get pasta or even go to a sandwhich place and get a pizza sub. boy oh boy does that tickle my toes the wrong way. But here i go eating my own words because wow there new sandwhiches are off the hook. i eat three a day.
6. Tina Fey can go away forever
7. Watch out for the Tobacco Heals. Ya i know what you are thinking, its UNC football, ya ya i know. i am not saying they are going to be in the bcs but i bet people start noticing them. people will see them creeping up to that top 25 spot. i know the last time i saw them play it was against a piss poor rutgers team but i think they are going to be going places and Zesty is going with his gut on this one.
8. The people of the football nation to get over the tom brady injury. all this means is that no records are going to get broken and teams arent going to lose by 35 points. Yes it hurts when you lose a starting qb ecspecially one as good as Tom Brady. I still believe that they have one of the better teams without him. How the Pats won games was definately due to the offense and mostly brady but the last time i checked the pats werent giving up points at will either. if the pats d steps up and picks up for brady they will be alright. look at the teams from the past that have made it to the super bowl. to name a few how bout the champs from last year the giants who did they have besides a terrible qb. how bout the bears from 2 years ago who finished behind the colts who was their qb besides the famous sexy rexy. how about the most famous defense in the past decade that had an absolutely terrible offense and won it on defense yes i am talking about the ravens. Do i think that Matt Castle is going to tear up the league, no, do i think he can do enough this season to make a run in the playoffs, yes. people just have to understand that the pats arent going to be blowing people out of the water, so quit talking about it
9. FX - they need to stop playing the same 4 movies everyday
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
"My Guy"
Thursday, June 12, 2008
zesty must be butter cause he is on a roll
2. the number of teams the zest guessed right to be in the nba finals.....yes i did happen to pick the lakers...and yes the team i guessed they would play wasn't necessarily clear but i did guess they would play somebody from the eastern conference
3. how many meals a day that involve chicken at camp..... either that or big foot tastes like chicken
4. how many times i have a feeling big bad brucey daddy will end up in jail at his attempt to regain high school glory during the cws
5. the game number in the nba finals where the black mamba will put up a fifty spot....yes the zest is not putting a schnepels guarantee on it because he would love to see the best in the game right now do what he does
6. the game number the lakers win it all .....yes another nba final prediction ......the lakers win in six..... BOO YA
7. the game number the lakers will win in if they don't win in six .....
8. the guess of how many times the informer will cry if the lakers will lose the finals
* things to note
schnepels guarantee = not going to happen
serious note: i miss everybody back home .....i hope its fun....maine isn't that bad ....harry is staying in our bunk which makes things awkward every once in a while.....but besides that if feels good to be out of iowa and living on the coast .....the informer right about something funny please your serious stuff is getting awkward to read...... love you guys
holla at your boy
Zesty
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
"Zesty Is Back"
The Informer has had a hard time with the Zest being gone. . .But instead of worry about when he will see Mr. Zest again the Informer has taken matters into his own hands.
Now some people may think the Informer is a damp basement away from starting his own "Fight Club" but the Informer thinks he is just learning how to be sane.
You see, the Informer. . .Since the Zest has decided to leave the Informer. . .has decided to make his own solutions.
So from here on out, if the Informer writes a blog and has quotes from the Zesty, don't think it is Zach talking, but the Informer's made up friend, the Zesty.
Get It, just like Zach can leave the Informer high and dry, the Informer can get hammered and make up his own imaginary friends.
Enjoy Maine Assclown.
So stay tuned for updates from the "Real Zesty" very soon. . .You have been warned
Sunday, June 1, 2008
greetings from maine
well this is the first blog i am sending out from maine.......yes i know how devastated everybody is that i am not back in treynor..... yes i made it safe and sound if anybody was interested..... its actaully not that bad except for sharing a cabin with four people and no means of entertainment except for driving to the bar 20 miles away and killing a couple of beamers.......my new favorite drink is.......beam and ginger.....with a lime of course.... right now there is about 15 guys here with about 5 girls.....yes not a great ratio....but all the guys seem to be alright.....i havent conversed with the females yet but that is probably due to the fact they are all from mexico..... i just wanted everybody to know the things i will miss this summer
1. CWS ...... all i can say is WOW ......The canes might actually win and my prediction of the u winning a championship in a sport might come true....plus the fact that big bad brucie daddy is coming to town with his posse is just one more reason i will miss "the greatest time ever"
2. RIVER RIOT ...... once again i miss out on a concert happening around back home ....and this time it is staind..... if staind faught the state of maine ...... staind would win hands down....i am so jealous .....but i will not miss the over advertisement of river riot on the river...... i would love to silence the river everytime anything but music would come on
3. The Informer...... once again all i can say is WOW...... what better number two is there around than The Informer.....yes his physique may be bad .....but man does that guy know how to party.....in an apartment with one other person......that person being me.....sorry Informer that you are number two but you know RepTyler always takes the cake
4. Treynor....... ummmmm.......anyway
5. Spending a pay check on booze the same day you get it................B.A. you know what i am talking about...... i only get paid every two weeks...... so the paycheck is a little harder to get rid of in one night but its nothing a few rounds of yeager bombs cant fix\
holla at your boy
the zest
Friday, May 30, 2008
"24 Hour Drive"
Friday Noon Twenty -"Are You Awake Yet"
Noon Thirty - "I immediately regret this decision
Two Twenty One - "Just ate which which in Iowa City, words cannot describe it."
(For those of you that have never eaten at Which Which the Zest would like everyone to know that Which Which is the second best sandwich place in the world. . .Blimpies is obviously number one)
Five O Two - "Fun fact 2. . .ottwa is were lincoln's voice was first heard"
Note - The Informer just asked the Zest where he was, what music he was listening two and how fat is the Zest. . .This should spice up the blog a bit.
Five Twenty Four -The Zest's response. . ."Chicago jt and no.........you" I think the Zest just called me fat.
We are going to take another small break, the Informer will update the blog later after the Zest gives him so more ammo. . .
Peace
Thursday, May 29, 2008
"Goodbye Friend"
Things the Informer are going to miss:
1. Zesty peeing and then not flushing the toilet
2. Conversations that make everyone dumber. . .Except the Informer and Zesty
3. Country and Booze. . .Nough Said
4. Rooting for the Twins. . .Hey if the Zest is leaving me I no longer have to root for his favorite team. . .Twins Suck
5. The Chronicles of Riddick
Have fun finding Big Foot Asshole. . .
The Informer
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Joni Bass = 100%
100% chance she wont ever be allowed to write on the blog again
100% chance she will have a melt down daily
100% chance she will never meet somebody to marry
100% chance that the last comment will make her cry
100% chance she gets caught in a love triangle....again
100% chance her kid will not be normal
100% chance she takes Cankles life advice into consideration
1000% chance i never write about her again
100% chance you Holla at your boy
100% chance this is The Zest
Things the informer needs to do in treynor
1. try to figure out who put the ginormous dent in his driver side door....... or try to get it fixed after a big night at the casino
2. Finish a twelve pack of beast a night to try and level out is blood pressure
3. Tell the zest daily that he plans on coming out to Maine to finally see the great city of Boston..... and than never come out ( the zest actually hopes he doesn't come out because he doesn't want to have to account for him)
4. If he does finally get the dirty bird up for an across the united states trip.....he should go to the cheers bar....and challenge the cardboard cut out of Norm to the game of drink....there is a good chance Norm will still win
5. Finally get rid of the man boobs he has conveniently been growing since his last days at treynor high
Holla at your boy
the zest
"Things To Do In Maine"
5. Go Hiking in the Woods: Since we all know how much the Zest enjoys exercise. . .Fat
4. Hunt for Big Foot
3. Try to not get eaten by the alligator from the classic move Lake Placid.
2. Go “Whaleing”. . .No you sick bastards, not that kind of Whaleing. . .I am actually talking about going hunting for real Whales. It is common knowledge that Maine is the Whale Capital of the United States.
1. Try and explain to the locals what the Television is.
Man that’s sounds like it is going to be a great trip, where does the Informer sign up.
P.S. The Informer is actually hoping that the Zest gets eaten by the alligator from the classic movie Lake Placid. That would be pretty funny.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Glow Ball = "Best time Ever"
26% chance 4 little trees were murdered as a result of the amazing time.
Justin hates everyone.
Weis might be the best player "ever" on Wii mario cart.
99.8% chance Libby fell in the creek and did not mind one bit.
Justin is still bitching about life.
Kaleigh. Yes that is a sentence all in itself.
River boat, reggae, Summer '08.... all "AMAZING"
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Go To Guy
Really Zesty, we have spent nearly everynight together for the past six months, yet you have the odacity to call the Informer number 2.
Don't get the Informer wrong, he will always respect the Tyrone, and if there was a classic go to buddy Tyler would and always will be the Zest's number one.
But, for the sake of argument, when you only see someone once every few months they can no longer be your number one go to guy.
I guess what the Informer is saying is . . .Zesty is a homosexual.
P.S.- Just because I poored out his beer does not make the Informer any less of a babysitter, so J.C. you can shove that up your pipe and smoke it.
Informer
Friday, May 23, 2008
Chad Farted Baby Food
SINCE THIS POST TITLE IS DEDICATED TO CHADS ANAL BREATH I WILL TYPE IN CAPS LOCK.
OBSERVATIONS 5/23/2008 AT 1:15 AM.
FIRST AND FARMOST CHAD FARTED AND THE SMELL WAS LITERALLY INDESCRIBABLE.
THERE IS A 25% CHANCE JONI HAS AN STD AND A 100% CHANCE JOEY IS WILLING TO TAKE THAT RISK.
60% CHANCE ZACH PAYS FOR THE TACO BELL CANKLES BRINGS BACK.
30% CHANCE CANKLES INHALES ZACHS TACOS BEFORE HE COMES BACK ANYWAY.
100% CHANCE AJ'S EX GIRLFRIENDS DAD OWNS THE APARTMENT HE IS SITTING IN.
200% CHANCE AJ MAKES THAT OBSERVATION EVERY TIME HE STEPS FOOT INSIDE.
INTERESTING POINT FROM CHAD:
HEATH WAYMIRE AND A KOOPA TROOPA TURTLE SHELLS ARE DESTRUCTIVE.
TOPIC INITIATED BY JONI:
33 YEAR OLDS AND BOYFRIENDS FOR 4 YEARS.
PEOPLE WHO PARTICIPATED IN THE CONVERSATION: (1) JONI
THINGS AJ WANTS:
ZESTYS BOB VILLA SPECTACLES
EQUIVALENTS:
JOEY SORNSON AND BRAD TREDE ONE LINERS.
FLYING THUMBS AND ARM BURNS --- UNFORTUNATE.
jz + casino = no money
holla at your boy
the zest
"I Did Not Have A Mealtdown"
In fact the Informer has done the exact opposite, his life is flourishing.
Just look at the numbers:
The Informer is consuming more "Brain Cell Killers" then ever
He has put on twenty pounds
His hair has started to fall out
If you want to call that mealting down, good for the Zest, but truth be told the Informer has never been happier.
In fact the next time he sees the Zest he is going to just pretend he is not leaving for Maine in a week.
See not mealting down. . .It is denial